


A Wrench in the Works

by YamatoMyTomato (KinoKahn)



Series: Kakashi & Yamato's Terrible Adventures in Terrible Sex [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: I'm Sorry, KakaYama - Freeform, M/M, Porn, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3489959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinoKahn/pseuds/YamatoMyTomato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi somehow convinced Yamato to help him reenact his favorite scene from one of his many erotica books, <em>Plumbing Your Desire</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wrench in the Works

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FriendshipCastle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendshipCastle/gifts).



> I love my bestest friend [FriendshipCastle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendshipCastle/pseuds/FriendshipCastle) so much that I wrote her bad porn of the ship that is dragging us both into hell. PS, this fic and the series it belongs to, generally speaking, takes place in the same universe as FriendshipCastle's [Between Scenes](http://archiveofourown.org/series/212882) series.

Kakashi bent forward over the sink and wiggled his ass. “What’s the problem sir? You seem distracted.”

Yamato was leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded over his bare chest. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“Your line doesn’t involve sighing. Did you forget your line?” Kakashi asked. He wiggled his ass again, attempting to further entice Yamato.

“You actually expected me to memorize the dialogue from your plumber erotica?”

“You said you were on board with this!”

“Yeah, but. I thought it just meant bathroom sex.”

Kakashi turned around and sat on the counter. He shook his head and pushed his hair out of his face. Without the headband on, his hair quickly fell into disarray.

“Look, I know you’re not as dedicated to this reenactment of _Plumbing Your Desire_ as I am, but can you at least pretend?”

Yamato sighed again and reached out to hook a finger in the tool belt Kakashi had hanging around his hips.

“Where did you even get this?” Yamato asked, tugging lightly on it. Kakashi grinned and pushed his hip into Yamato’s hand.

“If I tell you, will you go get the book so you can read your lines?”

Yamato withdrew his hand and re-crossed his arms. “Yes. Yes, fine. Where did you get it?”

“Borrowed it from Iruka.”

“You did not. Please tell me you didn’t.”

Kakashi pulled the tape measure out and showed Yamato the back. Sure enough, Iruka’s name was scrawled across it in permanent marker. “His handwriting is nearly bad as Naruto’s.”

“Kakashi!” Yamato nearly gagged on his name. “We can’t use Iruka’s personal belongings for roleplay sex! We’ll get it dirty!”

“If you cum on it I’ll just tell him it’s plaster.”

Yamato continued to make choking sounds, so Kakashi continued, “I just told him I needed to borrow his tool belt for a project this weekend, and he loaned it without question. His fault for trusting me.”

“You have to be kidding me. You seriously want to have sex while wearing Iruka’s tool belt.”

“Yes. Now go get the book so you can read your lines.”

“Kakashi, no”

“Hey, no take-backs. One of the cardinal ninja rules is that you don’t go back on your word. Ever.”

“I’m very sure that’s not one of the cardinal rules.”

Kakashi turned back around to lean over the sink. “Just go get the book, please. Pretty please.” He shook his ass again and Yamato sighed.

 

“Most of my lines are just grunts. Can I just improvise?” Yamato asked, one hand holding the book open against the counter and the other resting on Kakashi’s hip, pinky grazing the leather of Iruka’s low-slung tool belt.

“No.” Kakashi said firmly.

“Alright, fine.” Yamato made a grunt noise of assent.

“Well, sir, if you don’t have the means to pay me for my services, maybe we can come up with some sort of… arrangement.”

“You seriously have this shit memorized. Wow.”

“That’s not your line.”

“Fine.” Yamato made another grunt noise, and Kakashi shifted his ass to press more firmly against Yamato’s crotch as a reward.

“If you don’t object, would you mind helping me with this plumbing?”

Yamato made a grunt noise that sounded vaguely like a “yes.”

“Wonderful. I just really, really need a wrench… in these pipes right now.” Kakashi arched his back and hummed softly.

Yamato dropped the book in the empty sink and leaned forwards to kiss Kakashi’s neck.

“You’re just giving up your lines?”

“I think I get the general gist. I can ad lib it from here.”

“No,” Kakashi said slowly, “That’s not what we agreed.” He fished the book out of the sink and reached backwards to put it back in Yamato’s hand.

Yamato groaned and leaned his forehead against the curve of Kakashi’s neck.

“Hey, you got your line right!”

Yamato groaned again. “I should have gotten drunk for this.”

“Shhh,” Kakashi replied, reaching over his shoulder to ruffle Yamato’s hair. “No you shouldn’t have. You can never get it up when you’re drunk.”

“That was uncalled for.”

“Uncalled for, yes. But also true.”

“Are you sure we can’t just do this normal? On the bed, slow, with lots of kisses on the mouth?”

“Please? Just this once? That’s a lie, I’m going to keep asking for this shit. But please?”

Yamato laughed into Kakashi’s neck and kissed his hair.

Kakashi took the book back out of Yamato’s hand, setting it on the counter with a bottle of soap to prop it open.

“Can you read it from there?”

Yamato nodded against Kakashi’s neck.

Kakashi placed one of his hands over Yamato’s on his hip, and pulled Yamato’s other hand so it rested on his hip too.

“It’s been so long,” Kakashi breathed, “Since anyone’s put a snake through these drains.”

Yamato snorted into Kakashi’s shoulder.

“Tenzō, your line.”

Yamato lifted his head to peek at the book.

“I’ve got a snake you can borrow,” he whispered into Kakashi’s ear. Kakashi shivered and moved Yamato’s hands to press against the front of his pants.

“You’re seriously already hard?” Yamato asked as he pressed the flat of his hand against Kakashi’s cock. Kakashi breathed hard out through his nose.

“That’s not your line. Not even close.”

Yamato continued pressing against the firm front of Kakashi’s pants as he took another peek at the book.

“I gotta turn the page,” he whispered into Kakashi’s ear. Kakashi whined as Yamato pulled his hands away.

“Okay. Uh. It looks like there’s something blocking the entrance to the pipe. Mind if I remove it?”

Kakashi moved Yamato’s hands back to the front of his pants. Slowly and carefully so as not to catch any skin in the zipper, Yamato undid Kakashi’s pants and pulled them down past his hips.

Kakashi wiggled the rest of the way out of them, until his pants were a tangled mess around his ankles. Yamato returned his hands to Kakashi’s hips.

“Line.” Kakashi breathed.

“Uh. Are the pipes ready for my snake?”

“Please, I don’t think the pipes can wait any longer.”

Yamato started undoing his own fly with one hand while he slid the other up Kakashi’s shirt.

“Wait, does your shirt stay on for this?” Yamato asked after a second.

“Yes.”

“No, that’s not fair. Take your shirt off.”

“But that’s not how they fuck in the book.”

Yamato finished taking his pants and underwear off, moving back for a brief second to step out of them and cast them out the door and into the hall. “Your shirt off or no.”

“Seriously?”

“Please?”

Kakashi looked up into the mirror so Yamato could see his face and pouted.

“Oh. Huh. I don’t mind the mirror thing, to be honest,” Yamato said.

Kakashi raised the eyebrow above his scarred eye. “Oh, so now you’re getting into it?”

Yamato evaded the question by asking a question of his own. “Shirt off?”

Kakashi squinted down at the book, skimming the next couple of paragraphs. “I guess. There’s this sexy part where you bite the neck of my shirt as you cum inside me, but I wouldn’t mind if you bit my shoulder instead.”

Yamato blanched. “I’m not biting you!”

“Okay, fine. Kiss the back of my neck really really hard. You’re just no fun.”

“I’m plenty of fun,” Yamato said, leaning forward and pressing his hard cock against Kakashi’s ass. Kakashi hummed in agreement as Yamato pulled the shirt over Kakashi’s head.

“Please, I don’t think the pipes can wait any longer,” Kakashi said again.

Yamato grunted his line and pressed a finger against Kakashi’s asshole, but then pulled away immediately.

“I thought you said you were getting ready earlier? Also where’s the lube? And are we seriously going to do this with you completely naked except for Iruka’s tool belt.”

Kakashi looked up into the mirror and squinted at Yamato.

“I meant I was getting ready for the role. Preparing to act. You know, breathing exercises. And the belt stays.” Kakashi shook his hips and the belt’s hammer banged against the counter.

Yamato dropped his head back onto Kakashi’s shoulder and dug his fingers into Kakashi’s hips. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know.” Kakashi pushed his ass backwards against Yamato’s cock again.

“I’ll be right back.”

Kakashi whined but let Yamato leave to go find lube. Howeve, few seconds and a few slamming drawers later, Yamato still hadn’t returned.

“It’s in the top drawer of the dresser,” Kakashi called out helpfully.

“I already checked there.”

“Did you look under your underwear?”

A drawer slammed again.

“I just checked again, nope.”

Kakashi sighed and pushed away from the counter to go help Yamato find the lube only to trip over the pants tangled around his ankles.

 

After nearly five minutes, Kakashi and Yamato returned to their positions in the bathroom with slightly wilted cocks and a bottle of lube recovered from under the bed.

“Why doesn’t the book have the homeowner stretching out the plumber?” Yamato asked as he worked his fingers in Kakashi’s ass.

“A lot of erotica authors think it ruins the roman—” Kakashi stopped mid-word to shift his weight to one side and stretch his left leg out so it rested on the toilet. “Right there, that’s good right there.”

“I know,” Yamato smirked as he leaned forward to press a wet kiss against the base of Kakashi’s neck. “You’re tighter than usual though.”

“Stage fright,” Kakashi explained. Yamato snorted and kissed Kakashi’s shoulders. He twisted his fingers and Kakashi gasped.

“Maybe we should clear off the counter,” Yamato suggested as he continued stretching Kakashi’s asshole.

Kakashi’s shifted so the back of his head rested against Yamato’s shoulder. “Nah, I don’t wanna stop. It’s taken so long to get this so far.”

“Are you sure? You flail a lot when you cum.” Yamato stopped for a second to apply more lube.

“Rude,” Kakashi sighed.

“Ready?” Yamato asked a few moments later.

“Wait, wait,” Kakashi said as Yamato pulled his fingers out and reached for a towel to wipe them off on. Yamato froze and waited.

Kakashi leafed through the book and pointed at a paragraph.

“You have to say this as you stick your cock in.”

“Are you kidding me?” Yamato asked as he peeked down at the open book, “It doesn’t even make sense. How did they even come up with that?” His hands gently returned to Kakashi’s hips.

“Excuse me, but this author is a genius of our age. Now just say it, please.”

“Fine. Looks like my sink’s not the only one getting its pipes cleared today,” Yamato said as he slid the tip of his lubed-up cock into Kakashi’s ass.

“I hope you clean my pipes real good,” Kakashi replied after a short, hard breath.

“Okay now can we just have normal bathroom-sink sex?” Yamato asked as he pushed further in.

“No,” Kakashi replied, “Stay in character, please.”

“At least my character is taciturn,” Yamato replied with a sigh.

“Can we keep going?”

Yamato grunted in assent.

“You don’t have to be gentle with these pipes,” Kakashi said.

“Do you actually mean that, or is that just the line? I’m not going to hurt you just so roleplay sex can be accurate.”

“It’s the line, but I’m good. Shove it in, hard.”

Yamato ad libbed the rest of his lines and grunted as he rammed his cock into Kakashi’s ass. Kakashi gripped the corner of the sink and spewed out lines (all completely memorized) from his plumber porn while Yamato thrusted, adjusting his angle to find Kakashi’s prostate.

When he hit it, Kakashi’s knee jerked forward into the cupboard with a loud slam that left a massive hole in the cheap wood. He grabbed for his knee and nearly fell backwards into Yamato, who was still had his cock in Kakashi’s ass.

Yamato quickly pulled out and leaned against the wall behind him, arms wrapped around Kakashi while he tried to catch his breath.

“Fuck. Ow. That hurt.”

“Did you break your knee? I knew this sink sex was a bad idea.”

“No, I didn’t break it. Come on, let’s keep going.”

“Seriously?”

“What’s that saying actors have, the show must go on?” Kakashi looked up into the mirror and grinned at Yamato.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot though.”

Yamato put his hand on Kakashi’s jaw and tilted his head so they could kiss. Kakashi bit Yamato’s lip and smirked into the kiss.

“Ugh, fine. We’ll keep going,” Yamato said as he broke away.

Kakashi turned around and, gingerly keeping his weight off the injured knee, waited for Yamato to put his cock in his ass again.

“Could you say the line again?”

“Looks like my sink’s not the only one getting its pipes cleared today.”

 

Kakashi continued saying various lines from his book as Yamato fell into more familiar territory: not talking much, but kissing Kakashi’s neck the entire time and leaving as many marks as he could without hurting.

But as Kakashi started to near his orgasm, he began flailing as usual. He dug his nails into the flesh of Yamato’s hand (which was gripping Iruka’s tool belt so hard that his knuckles were white) and reached out to hold onto anything else he could use to anchor himself.

“Oh, oh fuck,” Kakashi mumbled.

“You close?” Yamato breathed into his ear.

“Yeah, but. Uh. I broke the faucet too.”

It took Yamato a second to process what Kakashi had said and to realize that the rushing noise he could hear was the sound of running water. Yamato groaned and pulled out while Kakashi pouted.

“Turn it off before we flood the sink!”

“Oh my god, orgasm denial is terrible, I never want this again,” Kakashi whined.

“Kakashi, turn it off!”

“I can’t. It won’t turn off. We’re going to drown in a terrible sex accident. Iruka’s going to be so mad.”

“Kakashi, we’ve gotta go find the land lady and ask her to turn off the water. Then we need to call an actual plumber.” Yamato’s nails were digging into the leather of Iruka’s tool belt and his teeth were clenched.

“Okay but we can’t exactly go ask her now,” Kakashi pointed out. The water level had reached the overflow hole in the sink basin already.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re both covered in lube and hard and naked. Let’s just finish this first.”

“Kakashi.”

“It’s the logical thing to do,” Kakashi offered. Yamato couldn’t help but to agree, so he guided his cock back into Kakashi’s ass and put one hand under Kakashi’s chin, tilting his face up so he didn’t have to worry about Kakashi drowning himself in the overflowing sink.

“We’re never doing this again,” Yamato breathed into Kakashi’s ear.

“Fuck yes we’re doing this again,” Kakashi muttered in reply.

The cold water began dripping down the sink and spreading across the tile to freeze Yamato and Kakashi’s toes, but they didn’t seem to notice until Yamato jerked his foot as he came and slipped, pulling Kakashi down with him.


End file.
